Tweet
Firstly, let me say there is a new paranoia sweeping RTE - the pi$$ test threat for 'stars' is, for some, a terrible prospect. If You DO NOT get pulled for a test, this means You are NOT a star. So, i hereby DEMAND to be tested. And in true Kate Moss style, i plan to melt the fu*king beaker with some seriously colourfull pi$$.
You all know i have a reputation to uphold, so i'm asking for YOU to help me out on this, and in true WITHNAIL & I style, i will require a 1/4 litre of contaminated pi$$ for every work day of the year next year - thats minimum 50 litres of dirty pee please.. I'd particularly like to hear from anyone on methodone, smack or coke, as those are the ones THE DAILY MIRROR likes the most, although if you know anyone willing to sell me some pee full of Valium, Xanax or any other nappy stuff, that will do as i don't have a prescription for any of them, and therefore will be illegally using them.. Yes, i know, it's not QUITE the bomb, but if i was on the naps, then it would imply i was at the barl or whiz daytime, and needed the nappers to smooth me out every night - better then nothing i guess.
Obviously, i'll be stepping up my drinking, adding brandy to my coffee in the mornings, and necking a whole packet of pseudo before driving to work, and will be smoking rollup smokes and blaring 'white rabbit' as i arrive at work each day to attract the attention of security, but i feel it may be an uphill battle as as we all know, it's security that support the distribution of drugs in all the best nightclubs, so who's to say it's any different in RTE?
So, to 'squealy mc grass' as he is known in DJ circles, claiming everyone is on the gear (still) and spilling the beans all over the toast past couple of days.. I had heard (don't quote me on this..) that after doing a course in grief-management, Squealy was having difficulty differentiating between HIS and OTHERS grief, so had been turning up at the local cop shop confessing/grassing on [insert anything whatsoever here] for years, but has given up recently.. So this marks a COMEBACK for the man.. Now don't get me wrong, Squealy is a hero of mine.. A Young buck in [removed on legal advice] in the 80's (via [removed on legal advice]?) that really sounded animated and different, but he trangressed the unwritten law in 1986, borrowing my copy of READERS DIGEST TOP 75 HITS boxset, and never returning it. The week he was leaving his job at [removed on legal advice] i reminded him of this - and he got that shocked face "oh my, that was YOU??!??!" - yes squealy, that was ME. and you still have my fuc*ing boxset - something i can never forget.
So, please, PM me if You will sell me some dirty pi$$, i need to make sure i maximize this press-call..
(etc.)
Edited on December 23 after hearing from [removed on legal advice] and [removed on legal advice] and the legal department of [removed on legal advice].
You all know i have a reputation to uphold, so i'm asking for YOU to help me out on this, and in true WITHNAIL & I style, i will require a 1/4 litre of contaminated pi$$ for every work day of the year next year - thats minimum 50 litres of dirty pee please.. I'd particularly like to hear from anyone on methodone, smack or coke, as those are the ones THE DAILY MIRROR likes the most, although if you know anyone willing to sell me some pee full of Valium, Xanax or any other nappy stuff, that will do as i don't have a prescription for any of them, and therefore will be illegally using them.. Yes, i know, it's not QUITE the bomb, but if i was on the naps, then it would imply i was at the barl or whiz daytime, and needed the nappers to smooth me out every night - better then nothing i guess.
Obviously, i'll be stepping up my drinking, adding brandy to my coffee in the mornings, and necking a whole packet of pseudo before driving to work, and will be smoking rollup smokes and blaring 'white rabbit' as i arrive at work each day to attract the attention of security, but i feel it may be an uphill battle as as we all know, it's security that support the distribution of drugs in all the best nightclubs, so who's to say it's any different in RTE?
So, to 'squealy mc grass' as he is known in DJ circles, claiming everyone is on the gear (still) and spilling the beans all over the toast past couple of days.. I had heard (don't quote me on this..) that after doing a course in grief-management, Squealy was having difficulty differentiating between HIS and OTHERS grief, so had been turning up at the local cop shop confessing/grassing on [insert anything whatsoever here] for years, but has given up recently.. So this marks a COMEBACK for the man.. Now don't get me wrong, Squealy is a hero of mine.. A Young buck in [removed on legal advice] in the 80's (via [removed on legal advice]?) that really sounded animated and different, but he trangressed the unwritten law in 1986, borrowing my copy of READERS DIGEST TOP 75 HITS boxset, and never returning it. The week he was leaving his job at [removed on legal advice] i reminded him of this - and he got that shocked face "oh my, that was YOU??!??!" - yes squealy, that was ME. and you still have my fuc*ing boxset - something i can never forget.
So, please, PM me if You will sell me some dirty pi$$, i need to make sure i maximize this press-call..
(etc.)
Edited on December 23 after hearing from [removed on legal advice] and [removed on legal advice] and the legal department of [removed on legal advice].
Comment