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So.. Peak of the summer, and boredom, and i have decided to do a followup to my guide on HOW TO BEATMIX as first reported here..
I remember getting so much flak from DJs when i wrote about 'the secrets of beatmixing' all those years ago, but the number of people that shook my hand for clearing it all up for them nuked all that negativity
I suggest You read the original article again, and get handy with the concept of WHY beatmixing works, and WHY you need to be able to count to 4
But now, for those of You with CD decks, i present:
HOW TO FUC*ING BEATMIX: PART DEUX - DIGITALLY REMASTERED
So, You have re-read the Vinyl guide, and are all ready to drive the train again? Well, relax, it's such a piece of pi$$, you can do this even when extremely drunk. SO, go ahead, have a few cans, You might as well, it will help You deal with the GUILT of how stupidly simple this sh!t has become, thanks to the modern marvel of BPM COUNTERS.
Each CD player, even the cheapest pile of crap has a BPM counter in the display. Some require You to play the CD for a while to get a reading, some do it in advance. The Industry Standard Deck in Clubs is the PIONEER CDJ-1000 - this has pwned the Technics SL-1200, and is now expected in clubs, alongside a 'fully nulling triband EQ' mixer, and it 'reads ahead' and plots a map of level in the display, and the BPM appears. So. Here's the trick.
IMPORTANT: after the previous DJ has finished, you MUST stop his/her tune dead. This is to get a roar form the crowd, and to allow You to bask in the attention of everyone. Now is a good time to point in the air, clap your hands for the previous DJ, and s-s-s-s-tart your first tune by jerking off with the CUE button. What the PUNTERS don't know is, you stopped dead so You didn't have to mix out of & follow the BPM of the last record played. During that tune, you were SNEDGING (now the official term for this) your first tune.
HOW TO SNEDGE:
[1] load Your first tune while the previous DJ's last tune is playing out & he/she is pointing in the air and showing off
[2] change the PITCH RANGE on the deck to max resolution - this is the LOWEST % shift - usually 6% +/-
[3] creep the pitch SLOWLY until the bpm readout flips to your chosen BPM
[4] pull back by a gnats eyebrow so the display flips back a step - the best way to be sure of all this is to choose a BPM that is bang on a rounded number, like 137.0, then pull back till it reads 136.99 or 136.95 or whatever the smallest amount behind the WHOLE number is. This deck is now SNEDGED. Note: this is why we use the highest resolution on the pitch, at +/-10%, you can get to 136.95, and +/-20% you can get as close as 136.90 before it flips to 137.0, so go for the LOWEST range on the pitch to get the SMALLEST incriments in BPM, and therefore the closest match..
[5] when preparing the next tune, do the same trick - snedge that fuc*er to 136.99 (or as close as you can to 137.0) and THAT BITCH IS READY TO MIX.
[6] point in the air alot, hold your headphones with one hand, frown and hit that CUE button alot - this helps you stay awake after all those pints.
[7] follow instructions in previous guide re: counting to 4 and crossfading , EQing and so on.
[8] get all the chicks/fellahs 'cos You can mix
Notes:
* on a cheapo CD player, that only displays WHOLE NUMBERS - not 136.?? - only 136, this method works as well as with a player that reads to 12 decimal places, BECAUSE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE FLIP POINT WHEN THE NUMBER CHANGES, NOT AN ACTUAL NUMBER. In fact, the cheaper 'whole number' decks are easier to use because of the lack of numbers after the decimal point!! Hahahahahaha!!
* if you have 2 different models of player, use a test CD to determine the difference in displays. For example, the Denon DNS-1200 displays .4 bmp faster then a Pioneer CDJ-800 Mk1
* the position or value of the pitch control is NOT RELEVENT with this method, only the 'flip point' on the BPM display
* BPM calculators all use the same TYPE of alogrhythm, but no 2 are the same, so this method is ONLY solid and needs no extra math in the head IF BOTH DECKS ARE THE SAME REVISION OF THE SAME MODEL FROM THE SAME MANUFACTURER
* because of the digital nature of CDs, the pitch control will NEVER HAVE ENUF RESOLUTUION to get 2 differing BPM'd tunes 100% in sync. Therefore, CDs will NEVER be as solid in the mix as vinyl with analogue pitch control. This means, unless the 2 tunes were the SAME BPM EXACTLY to start with, or you have 2 copies of the same tune, YOU WILL HAVE TO 'nudge' them during the mix. The chances of a tune staying 'in' for longer then a few bars on a CD mix is FAR less likely then on vinyl. Until the arrival of a geared 1024-bit encoder control, we will never have the fine-tune resolution needed to match Vinyl & the human brain/hand. REMEMBER THAT BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR PHAT HEAD SAYING VINYL IS DEAD.
* go now, spread the word, and THROW THINGS at people that cannot mix with CDs, while WORSHIPPING those who can mix with vinyl.
I remember getting so much flak from DJs when i wrote about 'the secrets of beatmixing' all those years ago, but the number of people that shook my hand for clearing it all up for them nuked all that negativity
I suggest You read the original article again, and get handy with the concept of WHY beatmixing works, and WHY you need to be able to count to 4
But now, for those of You with CD decks, i present:
HOW TO FUC*ING BEATMIX: PART DEUX - DIGITALLY REMASTERED
So, You have re-read the Vinyl guide, and are all ready to drive the train again? Well, relax, it's such a piece of pi$$, you can do this even when extremely drunk. SO, go ahead, have a few cans, You might as well, it will help You deal with the GUILT of how stupidly simple this sh!t has become, thanks to the modern marvel of BPM COUNTERS.
Each CD player, even the cheapest pile of crap has a BPM counter in the display. Some require You to play the CD for a while to get a reading, some do it in advance. The Industry Standard Deck in Clubs is the PIONEER CDJ-1000 - this has pwned the Technics SL-1200, and is now expected in clubs, alongside a 'fully nulling triband EQ' mixer, and it 'reads ahead' and plots a map of level in the display, and the BPM appears. So. Here's the trick.
IMPORTANT: after the previous DJ has finished, you MUST stop his/her tune dead. This is to get a roar form the crowd, and to allow You to bask in the attention of everyone. Now is a good time to point in the air, clap your hands for the previous DJ, and s-s-s-s-tart your first tune by jerking off with the CUE button. What the PUNTERS don't know is, you stopped dead so You didn't have to mix out of & follow the BPM of the last record played. During that tune, you were SNEDGING (now the official term for this) your first tune.
HOW TO SNEDGE:
[1] load Your first tune while the previous DJ's last tune is playing out & he/she is pointing in the air and showing off
[2] change the PITCH RANGE on the deck to max resolution - this is the LOWEST % shift - usually 6% +/-
[3] creep the pitch SLOWLY until the bpm readout flips to your chosen BPM
[4] pull back by a gnats eyebrow so the display flips back a step - the best way to be sure of all this is to choose a BPM that is bang on a rounded number, like 137.0, then pull back till it reads 136.99 or 136.95 or whatever the smallest amount behind the WHOLE number is. This deck is now SNEDGED. Note: this is why we use the highest resolution on the pitch, at +/-10%, you can get to 136.95, and +/-20% you can get as close as 136.90 before it flips to 137.0, so go for the LOWEST range on the pitch to get the SMALLEST incriments in BPM, and therefore the closest match..
[5] when preparing the next tune, do the same trick - snedge that fuc*er to 136.99 (or as close as you can to 137.0) and THAT BITCH IS READY TO MIX.
[6] point in the air alot, hold your headphones with one hand, frown and hit that CUE button alot - this helps you stay awake after all those pints.
[7] follow instructions in previous guide re: counting to 4 and crossfading , EQing and so on.
[8] get all the chicks/fellahs 'cos You can mix
Notes:
* on a cheapo CD player, that only displays WHOLE NUMBERS - not 136.?? - only 136, this method works as well as with a player that reads to 12 decimal places, BECAUSE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE FLIP POINT WHEN THE NUMBER CHANGES, NOT AN ACTUAL NUMBER. In fact, the cheaper 'whole number' decks are easier to use because of the lack of numbers after the decimal point!! Hahahahahaha!!
* if you have 2 different models of player, use a test CD to determine the difference in displays. For example, the Denon DNS-1200 displays .4 bmp faster then a Pioneer CDJ-800 Mk1
* the position or value of the pitch control is NOT RELEVENT with this method, only the 'flip point' on the BPM display
* BPM calculators all use the same TYPE of alogrhythm, but no 2 are the same, so this method is ONLY solid and needs no extra math in the head IF BOTH DECKS ARE THE SAME REVISION OF THE SAME MODEL FROM THE SAME MANUFACTURER
* because of the digital nature of CDs, the pitch control will NEVER HAVE ENUF RESOLUTUION to get 2 differing BPM'd tunes 100% in sync. Therefore, CDs will NEVER be as solid in the mix as vinyl with analogue pitch control. This means, unless the 2 tunes were the SAME BPM EXACTLY to start with, or you have 2 copies of the same tune, YOU WILL HAVE TO 'nudge' them during the mix. The chances of a tune staying 'in' for longer then a few bars on a CD mix is FAR less likely then on vinyl. Until the arrival of a geared 1024-bit encoder control, we will never have the fine-tune resolution needed to match Vinyl & the human brain/hand. REMEMBER THAT BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR PHAT HEAD SAYING VINYL IS DEAD.
* go now, spread the word, and THROW THINGS at people that cannot mix with CDs, while WORSHIPPING those who can mix with vinyl.
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