Dec 2003

[playthatbeat]

==311203

Okay... prep is underway for the LAST SESSION.. I am informed there are busses (check the radio add running on 2FM) and the cost is 15euro, with 20euro the door price, thats 35euro and you are bussed there and back.. sounds like a bargain, really, it`s only 5euro more then my local boozer is looking for!!! From the very start of the sessions tour, one thing we always tried to do was keep it cheap.. i really get pi$$ed off when i hear ticket prices of 50euro for some asshole playing a guitar in a rank smelly old theatre, or 100+euro for a old-folks day out at the point depot, so 35- delivered is a good plot IMHO.. I WILL forgive you if you give it a miss, to be honest, Xmas & New Year just annnoys me these days - all that pressure to Eat, Drink and spend money on crap gifts that people don't want anyway, it's so easy to just get swept away into debt all in the name of a festival that means NOTHING to anyone anymore.. I actually may come to resent it all.. "it`s for the children" i hear people with children say - well, i say Bollocks to that - it`s for the SHOPS.. and it`s all so false.. They pile high the crap, and we, like robots, buy it and either chuck it, or replace something old so the new purchace be validated! It looks to me as if we are slaves to shopkeepers!! When the fu*k did that happen exactly? I suppose it was bound to happen really, this is The THIRD age of regret dawning upon us people - The First was Organised Religon - and WHAT an innings it had! So many years of blind faith, so much abuse, so many 2-faced slimey devils preying on our fear of death.. Horrible cnuts, may they suffer the searing pain of 3rd degree guilt for all eternity.. It's not ALL bad though, we have woken up to it all, and only s small minority on the planet, who have ABOSULUTELY nothing else in ther lives, and are therefore starved of the information they need to make an informed choice, keep the fire burning under the bubbling cauldren of sin that is Religon.. (wow - even impressed myself there with that rant - notice how it is tailored so the stoopid fuc*ers into that crap can understand it? nice huh?).. The second was Alcahol, oh yes, the organised, governmentally approved, widespread distributuion and supply of that wonderfull chemical that us carbon-based lifeforms find so amusing.. Funny how well Booze goes with Religon innit? I Wonder if there is more to it then we see? After all, don`t they Drink Wine in church? Sure they do.. they mention it in masses innit! Booze is GOD APPROVED! Get on it baby! An entire nation can`t be wrong, especially when GOD is on our side.. Ah yes, the damage Drink delivers is wide-reaching and chronic - isn`t it amazing the way the more a person drinks, the deeper their lives fall into the shite? Not just at the TIME, but in the long run.. i know our internal organs (brain, liver etc..) aren`t MEANT to last more then about 50 years, but HELPING them fail is ridiculous - yet it`s a good idea according to: the church (now blanked), the government (nearly blanked), the media(oh, well it MUST be cool then innit..) - do these people WANT us to be stupid? Oh yes they do, because a FOOL and his/her money are EASILY parted.. especially when one of them is pissed drunk.. I think the Whole Xmas/New year expression of our love for money will become as amusing to future generations as Burning witches, drilling holes in people's heads to let the demons out and thinking the world was flat.. We need a NEW christmas.. A NEW image, NEW staff, NEW NEW NEW NEW. Get me? Christmas has lost it`s Zing.. It needs a re-launch.. And FAST. Santa needs an upgrade - sure he's fast, fat and jolly, but wouldn`t he be better off loosing a few stone, having a shave and leaving out the "sitting little boys on his lap" activity? How about a 6-foot asian babe santa? In black leather, that kickboxes.. You know, one that stands for groovyness and sexiness rather then fatness and excsssiveness? Well, anyway, have a think, because i hear "they" are going to be accepting proposals for the "NEW" Xmas - just keep it easy to pronounce, and make sure everyone thinks they will die horribly and all lonley if they don`t subscribe..

Oh, Happy new year. By the way.

==301203

Weekend Playlist for Mr.Spring`s Show on 2FM's 6:2:6,
(www.2fm.ie/626) TX: 201203/20.00-22.00

*cerrone/supernature (album version) - atlantic
*joey beltram/energy flash (original) - r&s
*art of trance/madagascar (oroginal) - lube
*OT Quartet/hold that sucker down (builds like a skyscraper) - cheeky
*firesign theatre/beat the reaper (original "waiting" version) - columbia
*mantronik/king of the beats (original "join me please" edit) - 10
*art of noise/close to the edit (spanner in the works mix) - ztt
*monsoon/ever so lonley (full length Album version) - mercury
*sylvester/do you wannt funk? (patrick cowley remix) - hispavox
*gibson brothers/cuba (original club mix) - polygram
*emerson lake & palmer/fanfare for the comon man (mr.spring edit) - wea
*microbe/unknown treasure - pulse
*electroheadz/no sleep - nukleuz
*scissor sisters/comfortably numb - white label
*motorcycle/as the rush comes positiva
*fight club/spread love - nebula
*b'jammin/genetic junk - relative
*ben shift/quazar - MD

Playlist for Ireland's All-time Top40 Clubtunes on 2FM's 6:2:6,
(www.2fm.ie/626) TX: 271203/18.00-22.00
Presented By Mark McCabe, Mr.Spring, Conor G & John Power,
As dictated by the Listeners to 6:2:6 to mark the End Of the Service.

40 - Da Hool/Meet Her at the Love Parade - Kosmo
39 - Bedrock/For What You Dream of - Stress
38 - Lionrock fest. MC BuzzBee/Packet of Peace - Deconstruction
37 - The Conductor & The Cowboy/Feeling this way - Serious
36 - Moloko/Sing it Back - echo
35 - Dirty Vegas/Days Go By - emi
34 - BBE/7 Days & 1 week - Positiva
33 - The Age of Love/The Age of Love - Emi Ger.
32 - Azzido da bass/Doom's Night - edel
31 - Slacker/Scared - loaded
30 - Moonman/Don't Be Afraid - Go for it!
29 - Brain Bug/Nightmare - additive
28 - Tom Wilson/Technocat - zyx
27 - Vincent De Moor/Flowtation - XL
26 - Moonchild/Variations on a Theme - ultravinyl
25 - Satochi Tomi/Love in Traffic - defected
24 - Wink/Higher State of Consciousness - strictly rhythm
23 - Tony Di vit/The Dawn - TDV
22 - Legend B/Lost in Love - ascencion
21 - Nalin & Kane/Beachball - hooj
20 - Sasha/Xpander - deconstruction
19 - Nils Van Goch/Pulverturm - kosmo
18 - Marmion/Schoneberg - hooj
17 - Marshall Jefferson/The house music anthem - trax
15 - Natural Born Grooves/Groovebird - NBG
14 - Liberation/Liberation - zyx
13 - Darude/Sandstorm - neo
12 - Zombie Nation/kernkraft 400 - transk
11 - Underworld/Rez - junior boys own
10 - Leftfield/Open Up - hard hands
9 - Lionrock/Carnival - deconstruction
8 - THK/France - warp
7 - Gat Decor/Passion - flyin'
6 - Delerium/Silence - nettwerk
5 - Bizzare Inc/Playing with Knives - vinyl solution
4 - More Kante/Yeke Yeke - global beats
3 - Cosmic Baby/Fantasia - glowworm
2 - Dj Misja & Dj Tim /Access - X-trax
1 - Faithless/Insomnia - Cheeky

So.. there you have it.. those were the 40 most popular club tunes in Ireland, ever ever ever, as dictated by the actions, deeds and words of the 626 users. For the years of fun, we thank you.. Now, lets blot out the whole episode with some reckless behaviour.. (you have your orders.. why are you still reading this????)

Anyway, we have the (midband) 4-hour Chart Countdown Webcast archived, and hopefully RTE will host it at the 626.ie web address, if not, me and mark will host it, as it IS a document, and should be stored accordingly.. I also have a capture of the (broadband) webcast of JOHN POWER's last stand, where he played 4 hours of IRISH music. Yes, 4 HOURS of it, and it was ALL fuc*ing good mate.. Far too good.. In fact, it depressed me in places that the music was so good that it deserved alot more then we did/could/can ever give it.. Ah well, i will continue to support it on the new Stream, coming online Jan 8th 2004, Friday nights, 10pm till 5am.. With Your Humble narrator and Conor G warming the seat for the Guest Mixes and Wierd stuff that we will continue to play.. so don`t YOU throw in the towel just yet..

Ready for tomorrow night in ENIGMA? The Last Session? No? Ah well, never mind, why don`t you just relax there and i`ll fetch your slippers... There's a video of the "Antiques Roadshow" there too.. Me? oh, i am definatly going, i have to you see, i am playing at it... apparently.. that is if the snow doesn`t stop play Imagine getting snowed in? We'd all have to keep dancing to keep warm.. heheheh.. (better bring an extra box of tunes) Don`t worry about it, it`ll be grand, there are 3 bars in the complex, so we won`t die of thirst, and we can roast the suckling piggies that will be mingling amongst us scouting for anyone stupid enough to peddle ***** in full view of strangers for food... Mmmm... Or would they be Wild Boar up there so close to the boarder? Whatever, Honey glaze, mashed spuds (and there will be PLENTY of them i can assure you) and we have a feast on our hands - Pagen ritual stylee.. So bring your Face paint, Loincloth and "talking stick".

==291203

So.. Xmas came and went.. and so did 626.. the "last stand" is the night of the 31st.. Enigma.. Blah..

==241204

Happy Pagen Festival/Consumer Overload/Selfish Grabbing Season/Over-Indulge Week/Soap Opera Doom Free-4-all/Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/Family Reunion/Domestic Violence Day/Buy More then You Need Week/Meat for Brekfast/Lots of Movies On Telly Season/Arse-Photocopy Time/Drunk Driving Week/Overtime Killing for the Lads Week/40% of all Retail Sales Weekend/Empty the Stockroom Time/Car-park Incident/Cooking Smell Week/Stir-Crazy Time/Missing those passsed Week/Feeling Old Week/Feeling Young Week/Acting Like a Kid Season/Getting Fired Time/Accidental Holiday Time/Chitty-chitty-bang-bang season/Speach territory/Hackers Paradise/Galaga Season/DisneyTime/Jacko Time/Slapping Attack/Hangover/Hug time/Overdraft-fest/Crippling Debt time/"Home for Xmas.."/"Fuc*-off Home for Christmas"/Columbo On Every Morning/And So Is FLASH GORDON/Darkness Album/Drink Spillage/Leg-Over At Last/HOTPRESS Annual/SLATE Annual/Radio Times/Use a CD Box/Falling Off the Wagon/"I never Liked You anyway.."/I hate My (- insert anything at all you cannot escape here - ) "/Next Year will be Different/Self-Assesmant Week/Affirmation time/Presents Week/Giving Time/Guilt Week/Battery-Manufacturers Payoff/Parents Week/New Clothes Season/"Staying in is the new going out" Week/BarlFest/BeerFest/Midnight Mass While Pissed & Refusing to Put out Smokes and Bieng Lairy with the Biddys with a Laptop, Webcam and GPRS Phone Doing a Live Broadcast on the web for the Lads, as you do time/Even the Cops Are Wasted Week/What's that smell? IS it Cabbage? Smells a bit off to me week/Eviction Time/No room At the Inn Week/Week Like any Other for the people who are service providers and provide the Playground we all wallow in/Sucker Week/Rug Time/Light the Fire For a Change Week/Tinfoil In the XmasTree Lights Week/Check the Firealarm Time/Days.

Next Intrusion into the Ether: Christmas Nite on 2fm - JOHN POWER does his penultimate Broadcast, and we are all probably going in to help.. i THINK the Best sets of the year, as voted for by you, are bieng aired.. whatever.. c u down there..

Last 626 Broadcast, 27th December, 6-10, the top 40 Dance toons, as chosen by 626 Users.. 10-2, All irish Late Night Session Special, 2-4 The Last Flick Of the G-Spot With ConorG, 4-7, The Last 626 6mixes ever (on a saturday)

Last SessionsTour, ENIGMA Carrickmacross, NYE, 20lids on the door, Details on the 626 site, Broadcast on the Night.

Now would be a good time to think about taping some of this stuff, it may cheer you up in 10 years when you wonder what you did with your life.. It'll All be On the Web, served by the 2FM website, on SKY DIgital Ch914, NTL Digital, Nationwide in Ireland from 90-92FM, 235 & 490 MV in Pumping Mono, and in your head.. baby..

==181203

2 gigs this weekend for you... Doing THE BAY in CASTLETOWNBERE in da soutf wesht, and then on Monday night, WESPORT is due a visit.. So, come along and say hi, i'll try and make you smile

So, we are nearing the End on 626. In January Saturday nights on 2FM will change, and the Club Programming will Cease. The Sessions Tour is to end With it`s Last gig (#39) broadcast LIVE from ENIGMA in carrickmacross.. You can catch all the action on New Year's Eve On Your Radio All over Ireland, or On SKY digital Ch 914, NTL Digital or On the Astra2 Sattellite, or if you are cool Enough, On the Uplink From Our Broadcast Truck on the night

This is just the Latest in a long line of Towels bieng thrown in by various people in the "industry" of late.. Publications were the first to change hands - suspicious when you ask yourself "why sell a going concern?", then they started to fold and merge into odd partnerships with other like-minded operations.. The sad fact was it had all been covered.. You get me? There was nothing left to say or write about... New artists were few and far between, and even the new bright stars on the covers were the same people that had been making records for the last 10 years, only with better PR now.. The writing was on the wall for the Mags and Websites.. We all saw it coming.. Then Record Distributers started feeling the pinch.. Nothing new, we had all seen it before - only this time the problems weren`t down to PEOPLE (it was _alway_ a person's fault you know..), they were down to the product.. Stale product.. And much more of it then we needed.. It sat on shelves and tied up money all over the scene like a cancer.. The Computer-studio had open'd up the mysteries of quality production values to a multitude of Eager wannabies.. all of them capable of "painting-by-numbers" something together in a few hours that was as good as something that needed a $20,000 studio previously.. Remember productions like "For what you dream of"? by BEDROCK? Didn`t it sound larger then the space it occupied? Huh? well that was because it was painstakingly constructed by Skilled Labourers in a British Factory, it was a ROllsROyce of tunage.. In fairness.. And it holds it`s value today - especially when you compare it to a Fruity-loop inspired Reason-a-thon you may have come accross during the peak of the Hard-House Bootleg era.. Okay, don`t get me wrong, i love a good LaptopTune, but only when it`s actualy pushing the medium to do something that COULD NOT BE DONE before.. And that's why the Supply of Fresh tunes thinned so much.. Why take a risk on making anything new and different when it is so much trouble? Get me? Most of the Gear people buy today is Limited by it`s Intended Function - How can you be original by re-arranging someone else's ideas? All these Cheap (or free if you know the right people) software systems work by puking up fragments of someone else's tastes.. The same complaint can be levelled at Electric Guitars and Drums and Pianos, the tools of the trade for makers of Traditional devil's music, and that is why we had to enuf them and Electronic music was born.. New Noises - noises that didn`t sound like ANYTHING else , or even anything that actually existed in a physical form presented in a relentless format.. Mmm.. We so needed it to happen, and we so need it to happen again...Many New producers are slimming down the sounds of their tunes.. Gone is the Wall of sound, in is the spaces between the wierd noises.. And we loved that this year, didn`t we? Benassi Brothers? Tomcraft? All that Electroshite? Yep.. the aliens are coming baby.. It`s time to leave the Pubs and Daytime Radio Behind, They are all about to choke on The RnB/ShitHop dummy they have been sucking on after their brush with clubbing.. Oh my god! This cancer has spread to the Pubs! We ARE fu*ked now.. Now where was i .. Oh yes, the document of doom.. Right.. So, the tune supply was becoming a bit chemically to be honest.. You know what i mean? It`s like a Mass-produced Sauce in a packet or something, as opposed to the one made by a chef on the spot, yesh, there was an aftertaste of nashtiness from the tunes, and that began to bite.. They say Knowledge is power, well, this power corrupts. The entire userbase of Dance Music has Got Extremely Clever.. And then got bored, as clever people do, and began to take less shite off people, as you do.. They wouldn`t go to a venue blind anymore, it HAD to be a name, and a name they hadn`t been previously burned by (law of diminishing returns applies here - the more new big name DJs you see, the more chance you have of bieng burned..) AND had to be a nice venue with no trouble and no standing around in the pissing rain for hours afterwards pulling faces and trying not to get in a fight.. They Wouldn`t buy a record because it was a style/producer/label they followed or respected - it had to be ACTUALLY a good tune, and not the same as several others they had already paid 10-20euro for, and they were prepared to stand there and listen to it to check.. oh god.. Retail slowed to a snail's pace.. New releases backed up, pressing plants got stung by customers, Labels jacked it in, shops closed, supply of tunes got VERY selective through those still in business. Do you remember all those Big Clubs? In The UK and Ireland? Remember how they closed? Remember how we all went "It`s a pity, but it was awful lately.."? Well, the loss of those big clubs, and the festivals they ran, hurt the next group of People in this mess.. the DJs. No Clubs? No gigs. No DJ tours, No foriegn DJs, no International exchange, no Hype, no Publicity, no copy for the Dance-Music Press, No Vibe.. [VIBE: The invisible thing _actually_ going on that Normal People cannot see, hear or understand, but can FEEL] Mm.. and without a vibe, how do people keep it up? Simple, they don`t. They move on to the next thing they think they may like to get into. This goes for Normal people and Million-Euro Operations like Radio, TV, Games Companies, Softdrink Manufacturers, Chocolate Peddlers, Clothes manufacturers, Electronics Pushers, Booze Companies, Organised Crime and The Motion Picure Industry, They all detected the vibe was gone, and that was that. Bank managers could confirm their teenage Daughters were no longer staying out all night at weekends and were now putting on weight and doing alot of drinking, much to their relief, so they started to pull the rug from under anyone with any hint of clubbing on their breath.. Goddamn.

Now, the good news is, all of this Towel-throwing-in-ness behaviour can be explained. (see above), and it makes sense. So we fuc*ed up.. Hell, it happens to them all.. EVERYBODY looses the spirit of what they are about when they get bogged down.. They begin to believe their own press-releases, and loose sight of the core thing that it all came from - tunes.. Mmm.. tuuuunesssss.. Now, every week i get a call/txt/email/unsubstantiated rumour from someone else about someone else closing a label/hanging up their headphones/finding god and i feel a pang every time.. not because they are quitting, sometimes after 10 years or more, but becaue, after talking to them, i realise they have actually had enough.. they don`t want to go on. They have been pissed off SO much, they have to call it a day.. Really, that is a pity. Ah well. Who knows, maybe this time next year, or sooner, i'll be that shattered.. Luckily, having suffered the tortures of the Damned for more then 1/2 my life now, i can TAKE a bit of a gloomy outlook.. in fact, i eat it for brekfast. bring it on f*ckface! Yeah! Come on if you think your'e depressing enough!!! Hehe.. there is more good news.. The tunes are getting good again. Oh yes they are. You see, i have felt the tunes have been stale (bar a few notable exceptions) for more then a year now, and so has everyone else not new on the block.. Oh yes.. The tunesmiths have been hard at work, and are currently testing new forms of music in secret locations all over europe (we have to keep them secret or the americans will licence them and claim they invented them) and we can expect fine tunage at any moment.. er.. i`m told.. welllllll, it`s obvious innit? We can`t just STOP doing what we do because we get pissed off with it!! Hell no.. For better or for worse.. The Average Clubber can just move on, but do you see BARNEY or BARBIE chucking in the towel because their fans blank them as they grow up? No.. Barney is still rocking hard and is out every night, singing and dancing and shifting babe dinosours because he BELIEVES in his product. he KNOWS he is cool and he can just keep rocking and generations will be lead to him for the slaughter.. He don`t quit, and we shouldn`t quit.. For better or for worse i say.. And this is the 3rd "Worse" for me.. 3 times i have seen the fat torn from the flesh, and 3 times i have seen the flesh fu*k off and get other jobs (mostly in telecomunications) when the going gets tough.. well, i`m not interested, i have always been into electronic music, i always will be, in all it`s forms.. Be it StockHausen or Sly n' robbie.. Gimmie the tape, gimmie the plate, gimme the synth, gimmie the ridim.. Mmm... Ridim.. So, i intend to keep flogging the stain on the concrete where the horse lay as we flogged it all this year, and can announce a triumphant return to the radio, with a national service provider, minus the 626 brandname, minus the 'squad, and minu some of the other people we have known and loved on the 626 service.. Yes, it`s officially official, a new service is to begin in January. I promised we would not desert you, and we won`t. We no longer have the Cloak of bieng a Craze, now it`s time for music lovers. In the words of that bigot who starred in the original PLANET OF THE APES "you'll have to prize it from my cold & dead hand" (and so on..) In fact.. didn`t they try and do that this year as well? Ice me? Yes, they did. Mmm.. Well, they messed up real bad, because i am still here innit.

Oh, and your Xmas Pressie is up on PLAYTHATBEAT.NET now.. dontworry in the newstuff section.. I was in an unseasonably good mood when i made it, Enjoy.. (hit the DOWNLOADS button above)

You should check the 626 website before they tear it down, and vote for your favorite set of the year, and DO remember to listen on on Xmas night to hear the top sets http://www.626.ie

==131203

Weekend Playlist for Mr.Spring`s Show on 2FM's 6:2:6,
(www.2fm.ie/626) TX: 131203/20.00-22.00

*jens/loops & things - ID&T 7007295
*CJ Stone/Don`t look Back - WhiteLabel 100277a1
*NG3/Holler - Fontana holler dj2
*Future Funk Squad/Riffulator - Default 006
*Moloko/Cannot Contain This Feeling - echo ecdj1472
*Chemical Brothers/Get Yourself High - Virgin chemtdjx19
*Benassi Brothers/Illusion - zyx smr 017-12
*Joy@Joman/Tronic toys - BXR 1200
*Trance Fusion/Twisters Silence - Headline 0028
*Micheal de Hey/Keep On Movin - FFwd 541416 501061
*Propaganda/Duel - ZTT cnt0401
*VDM/Hesitation - Deal 037
*Gladheads/Drug Addicted Psycho - Fakten 005 www.faktenrecords.de
*Oliver Klitzing/Society - Headline 0029 www.headline-records.com
*Microbe/Unknown Treasure - Pulse 077 www.overdose.de
*The Jam/Going Underground - Polydor 537 423-2

.

More Christmas Cheer - THE SLATE (as seen on the Dunphy Flop) annual/Best of compilation is out now..And you can buy it online too using CCnow! It is also available at TOWER in dublin for the Extortionist price of 10euro - a shit of a pity when you tear through it in about 10 minutes... that's about a Euro a Minute of pleasure, that's against the grain AFAIK - especially for a Publication that was FREE throughout it`s brief but irritatingly excellent life!! So, Springer has the solution - you MUST NOT buy this for yourself, YOU MUST buy it and GIVE IT AS A GIFT - therefore the recipient gets it for FREE, and the Slate Ethic is intact.. Anyone caught buying it for themselves will be publicly ridiculed...

Speaking of THE SLATE ANNUAL, i _did_ spot an article or 2 in it on the Early clubscene that i seemed to have missed/selectivly forgotton, amazing isn`t it how Human Nature Makes the Individual think they are Divine/Special/Unique isn`t it!!! Apparently, according to the Articles in question, The clubscene was basically started by 3-4 inner city Jocks, playing "house music", and by those responsible for the City Centre Gay scene circa 1980! Fascinating to read this view, which, i might add, is almost the same as every other story everyone else tells about the pre-1992 scene.. Look, it was Tough back then.. Very tough. Only when big money came into the scene did the scene actually progress past the 2 clubs that played "real" club music, and the 2 shops that stocked Import 12-inches.. I find it sad really, because there is an impliction from all of this that as soon as the money arrived, so did a load of "blow-ins" jumping on the bandwagon, leaving the poor originators to look on for the years to come.. This is actually true to a certain extent, bar the fact that the "new" scene was fuc*-all to do with the underground music scene, it was all about pills... Anyway, the time has come for a decent book on the whole thing.. I love the way everyone from the early days, be they a fan, or a fan with deck-skills, has their own (biased) but very clear view on how things were, and i intend to make this the year the book gets written.. I know there are 2 books currently (well.. for the last 3 years) bieng written on the subject of the Irish Club-scene and associated subjects, and i`m going to make it my gig this next year to force them to come together (ooeeer) and at least get a final ruling on the whole project - is there a story? or is it just going to be a bunch of bitter 30-somethings bitching and moaning that it was better "back in the day", before the information explosion that enabled all of us to be DJ (allegedly)??

Those with memories, write them down, those with things written down, check the spelling, this is the year we document the scene.. and i mean it.. right back to the source..

==081203

Server Problems are getting worse... If you get a Directory Listing when you connect to this site, hit REFRESH or RELOAD willya, it`ll load properly then. Not sure what is wrong, everybody is denying it's their fault, so i guess we'll have to put up with it..

==071203

As you Probably heard, i was interrupted in the opening minutes of saturday's FIREN SQUAD by an official statement from the 'Squad High Command.. I have transcribed the historical document below for you to all to examine at your leisure.. I should Apologise at this time to my 3 guests in the studio who were sent home without supper - EAMON DUNPHY, ***** WALSHE and THE LOCH NESS MONSTER, all of whom are bitterly dissapointed at not making the list of honour (below) after bieng such staunch supporters over the decades - Lads, i`m sorry, maybe in the next life huh?

================================================== ===============================

OFFICIAL STATEMENT BY THE FIREN' SQUAD HIGH COMMAND: Saturday 06 December 2003, 19.00hrs

================================================== ===============================

With immediate effect, the activitys of the FIREN' SQUAD are to cease. After 5 years of getting away with it, the Squad is to be dispanded immediatly. Although we recognise that there are still, and will continue to be, many,many,many bad tunes bieng forced upon us, and there will always be countless brilliant tunes that will die of lonlieness without us, We, the High Comand of the Squad, officially recognise our time has come, we have been Axed, we have been deleted, erased, filled-in, brushed under the carpet, abandoned, over-written, understood, over-worked and made Far less important by things like War and Micheal Jackson. In the immortal words of spinal tap's manager, we now require a "more selective" audience, we have expired, we are finished now, what's your name again, where you from, what'd you do, alright bud, sound, sorted, see you later, it`s time to get me coat.

The Aims of the Squad were simple -

* Play new tunes, and dig a little deeper about what makes them good, or bad.

* Provide a nice day out for the wonderfull personalitys that admit to making our scene happen.

* Fill Radio Time with something visual and involving that crusties couldn`t understand.

* Provide a Quality painting & Decorating Service to the people of Dublin 4.

We Believe we succeeded in 75% of our Aims, and we feel that now is as good a time as any to take a rest and stop all this nonsense before we become 50% or even 25% effective.

All plastic Weapons are to be handed over to the Oxfam shop, and the McVities Canvass bag is to be returned to Gerry Ryan's desk, from where we originally stole it, (minus the biscuits of coarse.. write it off as "shrinkage") All the Sound Effects are to be released from their their High-Security Minidisk, and allowed to return to their respective Film Soundtracks - That is: Django, Resevoir Dogs, Evil Dead 2, Terminator 2 and The long good friday.

The FIREN' SQUAD wishes to thank everybody who covered up for us and helped hold it together over the years, especially Lieutenant JOHN POWER & Colonel IAN WILSON, without whom we would have been sussed a very long time ago, and to the kind security staff who helped people when they got their heads stuck in things, and hushed up the fire-extinguisher fights and beer spillage incidents.

There now follows a list of HONOUR, in recognition of those who dragged their asses in FOR FREE and sacrificed their thursday or saturday evenings, to provide us with over 200 hours of distraction, and provided me, personally, with the best fun i've ever had, disguised as work..

BP fallon

Conor G

Ken O'Flannigan

jay pidgeon

gabry fassano

DJ raff

bubbles & jesse

robbie spectum

bryan conlon

jay cisco

rick o'shea

frankie & decky headrock

podje

dj pressure

darren hughes

hugh scully

grahame park

robbie butler

darran flynn

ron's mobile disco

barry dempsey

tara murray

arveene

johnny moy

carl lambert

dj zoe

christian homann

CJ bolland

glen brady

dave clarke

niall redmond

al gibbs

raymond franklin

mark kavanagh

mark mccabe

casper

john power

ulick tag

adrian kenneddy

webster

trigger

scott bond

tony o'leary

dj ted

garreth reverb

tony james

andy redanka

pete hellar

leagues

stevie g

greg dowling

shane johnson

will o'brien

declan canning

tom cole

stephen carrol

DJ 7

umek

robbie nelson

gleave dobbin

gerry moore

nick corrigan

wes darcy

the ambassador of thump

little red basterd

nick harris

ian pooley

joy kiticonti

nigel h

kieth fortress

jakee t

james maas

joe clark

dermot c

killian maas

juan atkins

gint

anne savage

ben curvoso

pat dempsey

tony c

ronan mac

DJ paudi

leoni

marshall jefferson

cormac o'halloran

paul arkefell

the emperor ming

scott mcnaughton

frank kenneddy

nikki hayes

gedge

ter

dean sherry

darran rice

jay ahern

andrea friendly

dusty rhodes

stuart clarke

ken tobin

sandy rivera

pascall

dj helix

shay hannon

sam louther

kenny carpenter

marty sheridan

the redsettaz

dave mc donald

james zabellia

aj gibson

element 8

the flushbus crew

jazzy m

phil boyle

derek duff

derek carr

gar skelly

lee holmann

john chechini

miss barbera

willie pidgeon

razor

todd christiansen

simon f

billy murray

mark gannon

billy scurry

brian folan

scully

eddie wray

timmy & tommy

mandy reid

paul scott

enda rochford

david sherwin

nick corrigan

jason young

paul masterson

sunil sharpe

corvin dalek

al kelly

kieth mac

pat mcmellow

eoghan young

dezy balmer

neal scarborough

jerome

mickey roddy

matt hardwick

hugo bass

DJ krisp

derek d-fuse

tony watters

dj how

dave tracey

paddy sheridan

paul allen

shane flirt

chips

mark armstrong

tony mullen

al the gardener

francois

dj millar

shay healy

miss jamie

tayor

paul chillage

scott mac

colin heeney

don diablo

kieth sheridan

damien mccoll

west coast owen

the hig-master

paul conroy

chris davis

mark dobbin

trixton

pete donaldson

dj orbit

jason m'kay

rob hawk

dj raffo

donna lyons

bunny

phil & bren splitloop

dj mek

rira

hugh lawton

james holden

bass oddyssy

slime

alan pullen

allen o'keefe

spenser parker

al simms

brian cody

robin jones

ross rooney

colin heeney

howard kingston

garreth reverb

mandy reid

dale copeland

dj dubz

chris cargo

ulick tag

rob murphy

mickey mac

cian o'ciamhan

kieth dosconaught

andrew o'connor

dave purnell

the stanton warriors

damian PM scientist

emma the leg

mario piu

liam dollard

..and all the other brave men & women who's names we can`t look up as our paperwork has been siezed by INTERPOL, but don`t worry, it`s all in code and my handwriting is terrible, and if a codebook existed, we lost it a long time ago.

We now wish to address the Question of THE FUTURE. Despite the loss of the FIREN' SQUAD, RTE have agreed to keep broadcasting it`s radio services, and will try to pick up the pieces and not keep ringing us up asking for it`s CDs back. 626 is soon to be decommissioned, and it`s presenters will probably be given jobs in other RTE departments, excluding catering, or anything that involves handling large sums of money,or coming into contact with the general public. probably. although they may just turn up elsewhere on the schedual,doing something vaguely similer, with a different name, or not, depending on how things turn out at the boxing-day races.

Until we meet again, possibly with the word "REAL","ORIGINAL" or "CONTINUITY" preceeding our name, We wish everybody a merry Christmas, and a happy new year.. Don`t talk with your mouth full, look before you leap, and remember, ALWAYS carry a towel, they are great for keeping your marbles in.

============

message ends

============

(Burn Baby Burn!)

==031203

Time to start the Christmas list i think... look here for the Slightly more mature waster in your life, as this should help the memorys of the misspent childhood flood back.. and here for the Wannabe oldie inside you.. okay, it`s a bit heavy i`ll admit, maybe something a bit more TRON would suit? try this.. OR you could get a REAL one here.. whatever.. just start the list with sommathat.

==021203

On the pont of STATS, and more importantly, te SPRINGNATIONS chart, i`m afraid that the stats robot used by our host is no longer providing a breakdown of origins of hits in a nice charty form, so , basically, all i can report about last month is you managed 19336 hits on the mrspring.net domain, and playthabeat served you 2980 tunes nice to see there is a point to this all still You know what i am getting at don`t you? No? didn't you see THE STAR over the weekend? Accoring to 2 Experts on Entertainment - A mr. O'shea - the journalist, and A bloke/.spokesperson from WALTONS musc shop in dublin (purveyors of fine instruments and fantasy) DANCE MUSIC IS DEAD and everyone is buying Guitars!! Yes!! You heard it there first! The Clubscene is fuc*ed, and Decks are off the Christmas list this year, and guitars are IN IN IN!!!! Yep.. there is even a government scheme to pay for REHERSAL ROOMS for people that want to convert from Decks to Guitars Now! Wow! Talk about feeling wanted huh? Well i`m decided, my 20 year-old technics 1200 is bieng hocked this weekend, and i`m buying a Matchwood Telecaster and a Marshall Stack and i`m going to try and get my head round this Strumming thing.. I'm sure that The future lies in strumming.. Cos it CERTAINLY aint in dance music.. oh no.. Not according to a Bloke that doesn`t like music and another guy that sells Traditional instruments.. Poor sods..; Totally overtaken by things.. i actually feel sorry for them, they obviously don`t realise how ridiculous that claim is... All it is is a reversal of the SAME spoof we heard 3 Christmas' ago where HIFI shops declared ROCK MUSIC was dead, and that Decks were In for Christmas.. Yeah right.. Well i`m off to ogle my MAXPOWER calender and listen to some of this Great new music called "ROCK" - it`s sooooooooo in now, haven't you heard? Oh yes, i`m selling my decks to get into it more.. (and so on..)

Oh, and as a side note, if you are wondering where part 4 of "I never thought it'd happen(etc)" is, just you wait...

Weekend Playlist for Mr.Spring`s Show on 2FM's 6:2:6,
(www.2fm.ie/626) TX: 291103/20.00-22.00
20.00:

Firen` Squad, Squaddies: Howard Kingston (detergent quarterly) , Al gibbs (filth monthly), Christian Homann (daily dose)

*castenada/floor control - duty free - 33%
df061/wri:castaneda//cop con info@dutyfreerecordings.co.uk
*mr on vs. jungle brothers/breathe, don`t stop - positiva - 51%
12tivdj201/wri:jungle brothers//incentive music
*chicane & bryan adams/don`t give up 2004 - xtravaganza - 7%
xtrav4412/wri:chicane & bryan adams//cop con
*daft punk/voyager - virgin - 87%
visa8859/wri:daft punk//virgin music(fr)
*winter edition/malteesers - mars - 85%
mars confectionary Ltd. Edition White sweets..
*morris noble/i'm ready - hoochie coochie - 63%
hc13314/wri:noble//cop con

### Pointless Statistics: Squad Satisfaction Index: 55.4 Lowest Average: 50.0 [al] Highest Average: 67.5 [christian]

21.00:

*d-formation/starstuff - intenso ir002 www.intensorecordings.com
*benassi brothers/illusion - zyx smr 017-12
*b'jammin/genetic junk - relative relrec 008
*jens/loops & things (marco v) - ID&T 7007295 www.marcov.nl
*vincent da moor/no hesitation - combined forces deal037
*hardheadz/wreck the rmx - scanntraxx 010 www.scantraxx.com
*klubbheadss/bamboo sessions 1 - digidance dna 333-12 www.klubbheads.com
*joy@joman/tronic toys - BXR 1200
*the gladheads/drug addicted psycho - fakten 005 www.faktenrecords.de