==090707
SO! What a fine weekend we all had at pOxegen! Fantastic! Amazing! And _what_ a lineup! I was perticularly impressed with the Dance Arena - my field (except it wasn`t a field it was an aircraft-style hanger) so i should know.. Luckily, there was some music playing in there inbetween the powercuts and blackouts to break the monotany of running to escape the rain and mud and wee and fights and knackers - sorry, security staff.. Anyway, i`m sure you all have plenty of craaaazy stories about bieng peed-on in a burning tent while bieng drenched with rain (read that last bit again plz), but to help you waste no more of your valuable lives on this complete fuc*ing fail of the highest order, I am proud to present the pOxygen Complaints Ready-reckoner..
INSTRUCTIONS: Call your local Radio chat show, or RTE Radio1`s LIVELINE or NEWSTALK 106-108, and choose one box from each column, reading from left to right to form your complaint, just remember to Finish with ¨itś a DISGRACE..¨ or nobody will take you seriously...
==050707 (and some more)
LATEST: I was Just packing the Hovercraft with Home-made Cider and Magic Festival Cake for this weekend, when i realised that there was a 60+ MPH wind blowing around the Bratcave.. 60MPH is the speed of wind it takes to make the Telegraph poles ¨sing¨, and they certainly ain`t NOT singing right now.. So, this led to the conclusion that we may be in for some interruption of Play this weekend.. Yes, i know we have all been hystericly enjoying the Pulling of all the Tennis Due to rain, as Tennis means nothing to anyone that doesn`t play Tennis, and NONE of us play Tennis, but it´s still funny You have to agree, But, we may be in for some of that ourselves! Oh woe, the gods of Sport are punishing us for Laughing at the Tennis Fools, oh, and probably for the Rugby Incidents, and that Cricket thing.. Er, but anyway, about this weekend: How can we be expected to be a credit to the nation with world-class Sling-Mud activitys In 60+ MPH wind? I mean REALLY? Sure, alot of the enjoyment in Mud is the actual Slinging, but the Hopes that it may connect with someone, preferably someone Less muddier then you, is the little extra thing that makes it kinda special.. Now, with this wind, we are going to have to CHEAT to make it happen Properly..Like using Carbon-Fibre Mud, or special Sports-Half-Bricks inside the mud Sod to make it more ¨managable¨ in the Wind... All this means less baggage space for important things like Dove Shower Gel and Alcahol of coarse, but if you are serious about your festivals, then you already know that there is little option here.. Anyways, on top of that, a change of jammer is called for too.. The Hovercraft doesn`t steer too good with 60MPH sidewinds, so i think it`s back to the original plan - Unimog ATVs, and Canoes with Paraglider Mods... Sure, the Hover is The king for Mud-drifting, but also, some control of trajectory is most desireable. Now, the Weather man says that the Sunshine will kick in Tomorrow, and last for a week or so, so i´m taking this as an indication that we AIN´T SEEN NOTHING YET!!!!! Since i started to type this, the lights have dimmed a bit, and 2 small birds have flown out of control into the bay windows here in the Bratcave. They were unharmed, except for pride, but the latest addition to the staff here, ¨t-bag¨, a feral tortoise-shell female with a penchant for dismembering Birds, preferred to Remain safe under the chair then venture out to Maim the birds.. Oh, another Weatherman on TV just Confirmed the Winds WILL contimue, but that the Sun will accompany them - so thats looking like Amour-plate is the way to go, since it looks savage in the sun, and doesn`t blow away easily.. er.. unless you have a Barrett of coarse. (of coarse)
==050707
And So, as i type this, we are enduring our 11th day of rain. Yes, i know, it really is time to start planning the auld suicide again. I was thinking about involving some heavy machinary this time, maybe a steam engine or a drilling platform.. Mmmm.. That would certainly make for some scrunched-up faces at the inquest!!! Nah, i not serious.. I couldn`t do meself in, i have to provoke someone else into doing it for me, that way i still get into the VIP areas in the afterlife..So, how about combining the Bad weather, Festival fever, and my dislike for Yellow Bibs into a Justfied masterplan? OK, here goes: Cannot WAIT for this weekend down at Oxegen - all my favorite bands are playing: The Derivitives, The Clones, The Emos, The An-Heros, Dave Winge, Brian Killmenow, The Detroit Fails, The UK Loosers and i may explode with anticipation before i get to see the Damp Squibs, who are playing on the Mud stage inbetween the Had-A-Hit-2-Years-Agos and Squeaky Hormonal Drunken Female.. Did i tell you about the LAST time we all went to a festival And it rained? No, not the Now Ledgend that was SHITLESS - home of the biggest mud fight ever, when 36,000 people threw 2,450,000 Kg of mud in just 6 short hours (source: The Guinness Book Of Failure), no no no, i mean the Rainfest LAST year.. Well, i won´t bore you with the exact details, but to remind you: We were leaving at the end of the night, to go to the car with a load of bags of various assorted equipment and media, when a pair of fuc*ers with dayglo yellow bibs on forced us to double back and walk for an hour in the rain - resulting in major lostness, and bieng soaked to the skin - ruining alot of stuff we were carrieng etc. and putting me out of action for 3 weeks due to my imuran-induced poor immunce system taking on a major lung infection.. Now, i FINALLY worked out WHY it happend. The Pricks in the Yellow vests thought they were anonamous. think about it. No matter how right or wrong we or they are, THEY THINK THEY ARE ANONAMOUS. They are just getting a few quid for the day to boss people around and wear a yellow bib. When challanged for their names, they always reply with a ¨JOHN¨ or whatever, and are then joined by a few more ¨johns¨, and you know the rest.. SO, this year i intend to ensure i don`t get pushed around by any dickheads in yellow bibs that are suddenly going to take a swipe at RTE (everybody loves to take swipes at RTE in fairness, THIS i understand..) by refusing access to vehicle storage areas and bullying and blah blah.. THIS TIME, i intend to wound any fuc*er that as much as touches me or any of my co-workers. I will be tooled up, and looking to settle my scores from previous Festivals (3 weeks off work, course of Antibiotics, 1200eu Damage to my car which nobody saw etc.. etc..) Now, don`t take this the wrong way, I only want to ensure the person that plays bully gets canned permenantly. How? Well, if i get grief, and walk away (like the last few times) the prick gets away with it, hides behind his yellow anonamous dayglo shield, and gets to tell everyone down his local pub that he made me and co. walk in the mud blah, and what fuc*ers we are for gettin´ paid licence fees for ¨that shite¨ (i have been there , i have seen and heard it.. all wrong since 2FM gets NOTHING from the licence fee or taxpayer.. but who cares when you have had 12 pints and know it all..) er, where was i? oh yeah, well, i intend to MAKE SURE that dayglo anonamous and me meet again, where the full incident can be reviewed by all and sundry, and the only real way to do that is to wound the c*nts. You know, 2-inch switchblade in the bumcheek alcatraz stylee, or a nice 50,000 volts from mah combination Face-Massager/Mobile-Fone/Micro-Tazer, or perhaps a wee squirt of pepperspray or tomcat juice on the yellow bib will suffice? How about a series of Photos on the Interwebz of you Throwing your wieght about? Or maybe a special Website dedicated to You and your funky fresh Festival attitude? Whatever. YELLOW BIBS BEWARE - if you mess with me this time, it will be the start of a loooooong and painfull relationship, with much humiliation for you, and much loling for me and the thousands of people you have bullied over the years. DISCLAIMER: MrSpring, YellowBibMan and TomcatJuice are all figments of your imagination, as is the Internet, remember rule 1 of fight club.
Playlist for Springsession on 2FM.
TX:30-06-2007
22.00-00.00
*soundbluntz - lucky [hatiras] (gusto)
*Jaymen - Ooh La Lishious (spinnin)
*Laurent Pepper - Paris Is Born [Original] (852 Recordings)
*CRW - I Feel Love [Aaron McClelland] (UMM records)
*robot man - ready for this (neon wave)
****** Osbourne - Maia [Ramon Zenker Remix] (kingdomcome black) http://www.unlimitedsounds.de/
*Phunk Investigation - Wiggle Baby [Microwatt Mix] (absolutely records) http://www.absolutelyrecords.com
*Basic Bastard - Frankfurter (Big & Dirty Records)
*Atari Era - Dirty Dirty Girl (white)
*leon boiler - summertime confessions [sied van riel] (spinnin)
*Pascal Feliz - From Inside The Speaker Part 2 (Rytmic Records)
*Marcel Woods - Lemon Tree (High Contrast Recordings)
*johan gielen - magnitude (kontor records)
*divini & warning - Otrabanda (reset rs027)
*slusnik luna vs lowland - baas (ava recordings ava004)
*randy katana - session impossible [snair] (reset records)
*sander van doorn- pump up the jam (white)
*andrew bennett - safe from harm (coldharbour clhr030) www.andrewbennett.cc
*armin van buuren - rush hour (armind 1041) www.armadamisic.com
*gate 42 - danger (discover dark) www.recoverworld.com
*slusnik luna - baas (ava recordings ava 004)
*utah saints - lost vagueness [lieb] (EMI)
Playlist for Spring Doz Dan on 2FM.
TX:27/28-06-2007
00.00-02.00
*smashing pumpkins - tarantula (reprise records) www.smashingpumpkins.com
*nine inch nails - capital g (island records)
*chemical brothers - all rights reversed (virgin)
*artic monkeys - fluorescent adoledcent http://www.arcticmonkeys.com/
*scary eire - rev it up www.rira.ie
*ikon - breakin (jalepeno records jal52)
*krs one - bling blung http://www.templeofhiphop.org/
*Clarence Wheeler & The Enforcers - Right on (atlantic)
*messiah j & the expert - all the other girls http://www.messiahjandtheexpert.com/
*hot chip - my piano http://www.hotchip.co.uk/
*sugarhill gang - apache (sugarhill)
*apache indian - chok there! (island) http://www.karmasound.com/radio.asp
*noise control - steel http://www.noisecontrolband.com
*groove armada - song 4 mutya http://www.groovearmada.com/
*motor - unhuman (mute) www.mute.com
*simion mobile disco - i got this down http://www.simianmobiledisco.co.uk/
*derek carr - track 6 (nice & nasty) http://www.niceandnasty.net
*nicole otero - sunshine song (cr2)
*james brown - mama popcorn (polydor)
*curved air - midnite wire http://www.curvedair.com/
*kraftwerk - vitamin (EMI) www.kraftwerk.com
*blancmange - god's kitchen'(london) http://www.affleckonline.co.uk/blancmange/
Playlist for Springsession on 2FM.
TX:23-06-2007
22.00-00.00
*Robbie Craig and Audiofreaks - Freak [2 Step Mix] (audiofreaks) http://www.audio-freaks.com/
*Benjamin Bates - On My Feet [Benjamin's OMFG remix] (Big & Dirty)
*nicole otero - sunshine song [john julius knight redub] (cr2)
*Atari Era - Dirty Dirty Girl (white) http://www.myspace.com/mattwaterhouse
*product 01 - fix me [broken robot] (product01 records prod1204) www.product01.co.uk
*Pascal Feliz - From Inside The Speaker Part 1 (Rytmic Records)
*Sandervandoorn-by any demand [petergelderblom] (spinnin)
*Basic Bastard - Frankfurter (Big & Dirty Records)
*Activa - Flashpoint [orig] (spinnin)
*mr pit - blue velvet [orig] (drizzly adv)
*Marcel Woods - Lemon Tree (High Contrast Recordings)
*richard durand - for the believers 2.0 (terminal 4) www.terminal-4.com
*greg downey - jaws (discover dark 11)
*randy katana - session impossible (jinx jinx004)
*the viceroy - endgame (flux deluxe fdelux 101)
*andrew bennett - safe from harm (coldharbour recordings clhr030)
*cliff coenraad pres: mulika - escalate (intuition intu910)
*jay lumen pres: monologue - midnight express (whoop! wh110)
*breakfast - the sunlight (flashover flash014)
*side effect - always there (fantasy 769)
SO! What a fine weekend we all had at pOxegen! Fantastic! Amazing! And _what_ a lineup! I was perticularly impressed with the Dance Arena - my field (except it wasn`t a field it was an aircraft-style hanger) so i should know.. Luckily, there was some music playing in there inbetween the powercuts and blackouts to break the monotany of running to escape the rain and mud and wee and fights and knackers - sorry, security staff.. Anyway, i`m sure you all have plenty of craaaazy stories about bieng peed-on in a burning tent while bieng drenched with rain (read that last bit again plz), but to help you waste no more of your valuable lives on this complete fuc*ing fail of the highest order, I am proud to present the pOxygen Complaints Ready-reckoner..
INSTRUCTIONS: Call your local Radio chat show, or RTE Radio1`s LIVELINE or NEWSTALK 106-108, and choose one box from each column, reading from left to right to form your complaint, just remember to Finish with ¨itś a DISGRACE..¨ or nobody will take you seriously...
==050707 (and some more)
LATEST: I was Just packing the Hovercraft with Home-made Cider and Magic Festival Cake for this weekend, when i realised that there was a 60+ MPH wind blowing around the Bratcave.. 60MPH is the speed of wind it takes to make the Telegraph poles ¨sing¨, and they certainly ain`t NOT singing right now.. So, this led to the conclusion that we may be in for some interruption of Play this weekend.. Yes, i know we have all been hystericly enjoying the Pulling of all the Tennis Due to rain, as Tennis means nothing to anyone that doesn`t play Tennis, and NONE of us play Tennis, but it´s still funny You have to agree, But, we may be in for some of that ourselves! Oh woe, the gods of Sport are punishing us for Laughing at the Tennis Fools, oh, and probably for the Rugby Incidents, and that Cricket thing.. Er, but anyway, about this weekend: How can we be expected to be a credit to the nation with world-class Sling-Mud activitys In 60+ MPH wind? I mean REALLY? Sure, alot of the enjoyment in Mud is the actual Slinging, but the Hopes that it may connect with someone, preferably someone Less muddier then you, is the little extra thing that makes it kinda special.. Now, with this wind, we are going to have to CHEAT to make it happen Properly..Like using Carbon-Fibre Mud, or special Sports-Half-Bricks inside the mud Sod to make it more ¨managable¨ in the Wind... All this means less baggage space for important things like Dove Shower Gel and Alcahol of coarse, but if you are serious about your festivals, then you already know that there is little option here.. Anyways, on top of that, a change of jammer is called for too.. The Hovercraft doesn`t steer too good with 60MPH sidewinds, so i think it`s back to the original plan - Unimog ATVs, and Canoes with Paraglider Mods... Sure, the Hover is The king for Mud-drifting, but also, some control of trajectory is most desireable. Now, the Weather man says that the Sunshine will kick in Tomorrow, and last for a week or so, so i´m taking this as an indication that we AIN´T SEEN NOTHING YET!!!!! Since i started to type this, the lights have dimmed a bit, and 2 small birds have flown out of control into the bay windows here in the Bratcave. They were unharmed, except for pride, but the latest addition to the staff here, ¨t-bag¨, a feral tortoise-shell female with a penchant for dismembering Birds, preferred to Remain safe under the chair then venture out to Maim the birds.. Oh, another Weatherman on TV just Confirmed the Winds WILL contimue, but that the Sun will accompany them - so thats looking like Amour-plate is the way to go, since it looks savage in the sun, and doesn`t blow away easily.. er.. unless you have a Barrett of coarse. (of coarse)
==050707
And So, as i type this, we are enduring our 11th day of rain. Yes, i know, it really is time to start planning the auld suicide again. I was thinking about involving some heavy machinary this time, maybe a steam engine or a drilling platform.. Mmmm.. That would certainly make for some scrunched-up faces at the inquest!!! Nah, i not serious.. I couldn`t do meself in, i have to provoke someone else into doing it for me, that way i still get into the VIP areas in the afterlife..So, how about combining the Bad weather, Festival fever, and my dislike for Yellow Bibs into a Justfied masterplan? OK, here goes: Cannot WAIT for this weekend down at Oxegen - all my favorite bands are playing: The Derivitives, The Clones, The Emos, The An-Heros, Dave Winge, Brian Killmenow, The Detroit Fails, The UK Loosers and i may explode with anticipation before i get to see the Damp Squibs, who are playing on the Mud stage inbetween the Had-A-Hit-2-Years-Agos and Squeaky Hormonal Drunken Female.. Did i tell you about the LAST time we all went to a festival And it rained? No, not the Now Ledgend that was SHITLESS - home of the biggest mud fight ever, when 36,000 people threw 2,450,000 Kg of mud in just 6 short hours (source: The Guinness Book Of Failure), no no no, i mean the Rainfest LAST year.. Well, i won´t bore you with the exact details, but to remind you: We were leaving at the end of the night, to go to the car with a load of bags of various assorted equipment and media, when a pair of fuc*ers with dayglo yellow bibs on forced us to double back and walk for an hour in the rain - resulting in major lostness, and bieng soaked to the skin - ruining alot of stuff we were carrieng etc. and putting me out of action for 3 weeks due to my imuran-induced poor immunce system taking on a major lung infection.. Now, i FINALLY worked out WHY it happend. The Pricks in the Yellow vests thought they were anonamous. think about it. No matter how right or wrong we or they are, THEY THINK THEY ARE ANONAMOUS. They are just getting a few quid for the day to boss people around and wear a yellow bib. When challanged for their names, they always reply with a ¨JOHN¨ or whatever, and are then joined by a few more ¨johns¨, and you know the rest.. SO, this year i intend to ensure i don`t get pushed around by any dickheads in yellow bibs that are suddenly going to take a swipe at RTE (everybody loves to take swipes at RTE in fairness, THIS i understand..) by refusing access to vehicle storage areas and bullying and blah blah.. THIS TIME, i intend to wound any fuc*er that as much as touches me or any of my co-workers. I will be tooled up, and looking to settle my scores from previous Festivals (3 weeks off work, course of Antibiotics, 1200eu Damage to my car which nobody saw etc.. etc..) Now, don`t take this the wrong way, I only want to ensure the person that plays bully gets canned permenantly. How? Well, if i get grief, and walk away (like the last few times) the prick gets away with it, hides behind his yellow anonamous dayglo shield, and gets to tell everyone down his local pub that he made me and co. walk in the mud blah, and what fuc*ers we are for gettin´ paid licence fees for ¨that shite¨ (i have been there , i have seen and heard it.. all wrong since 2FM gets NOTHING from the licence fee or taxpayer.. but who cares when you have had 12 pints and know it all..) er, where was i? oh yeah, well, i intend to MAKE SURE that dayglo anonamous and me meet again, where the full incident can be reviewed by all and sundry, and the only real way to do that is to wound the c*nts. You know, 2-inch switchblade in the bumcheek alcatraz stylee, or a nice 50,000 volts from mah combination Face-Massager/Mobile-Fone/Micro-Tazer, or perhaps a wee squirt of pepperspray or tomcat juice on the yellow bib will suffice? How about a series of Photos on the Interwebz of you Throwing your wieght about? Or maybe a special Website dedicated to You and your funky fresh Festival attitude? Whatever. YELLOW BIBS BEWARE - if you mess with me this time, it will be the start of a loooooong and painfull relationship, with much humiliation for you, and much loling for me and the thousands of people you have bullied over the years. DISCLAIMER: MrSpring, YellowBibMan and TomcatJuice are all figments of your imagination, as is the Internet, remember rule 1 of fight club.
Playlist for Springsession on 2FM.
TX:30-06-2007
22.00-00.00
*soundbluntz - lucky [hatiras] (gusto)
*Jaymen - Ooh La Lishious (spinnin)
*Laurent Pepper - Paris Is Born [Original] (852 Recordings)
*CRW - I Feel Love [Aaron McClelland] (UMM records)
*robot man - ready for this (neon wave)
****** Osbourne - Maia [Ramon Zenker Remix] (kingdomcome black) http://www.unlimitedsounds.de/
*Phunk Investigation - Wiggle Baby [Microwatt Mix] (absolutely records) http://www.absolutelyrecords.com
*Basic Bastard - Frankfurter (Big & Dirty Records)
*Atari Era - Dirty Dirty Girl (white)
*leon boiler - summertime confessions [sied van riel] (spinnin)
*Pascal Feliz - From Inside The Speaker Part 2 (Rytmic Records)
*Marcel Woods - Lemon Tree (High Contrast Recordings)
*johan gielen - magnitude (kontor records)
*divini & warning - Otrabanda (reset rs027)
*slusnik luna vs lowland - baas (ava recordings ava004)
*randy katana - session impossible [snair] (reset records)
*sander van doorn- pump up the jam (white)
*andrew bennett - safe from harm (coldharbour clhr030) www.andrewbennett.cc
*armin van buuren - rush hour (armind 1041) www.armadamisic.com
*gate 42 - danger (discover dark) www.recoverworld.com
*slusnik luna - baas (ava recordings ava 004)
*utah saints - lost vagueness [lieb] (EMI)
Playlist for Spring Doz Dan on 2FM.
TX:27/28-06-2007
00.00-02.00
*smashing pumpkins - tarantula (reprise records) www.smashingpumpkins.com
*nine inch nails - capital g (island records)
*chemical brothers - all rights reversed (virgin)
*artic monkeys - fluorescent adoledcent http://www.arcticmonkeys.com/
*scary eire - rev it up www.rira.ie
*ikon - breakin (jalepeno records jal52)
*krs one - bling blung http://www.templeofhiphop.org/
*Clarence Wheeler & The Enforcers - Right on (atlantic)
*messiah j & the expert - all the other girls http://www.messiahjandtheexpert.com/
*hot chip - my piano http://www.hotchip.co.uk/
*sugarhill gang - apache (sugarhill)
*apache indian - chok there! (island) http://www.karmasound.com/radio.asp
*noise control - steel http://www.noisecontrolband.com
*groove armada - song 4 mutya http://www.groovearmada.com/
*motor - unhuman (mute) www.mute.com
*simion mobile disco - i got this down http://www.simianmobiledisco.co.uk/
*derek carr - track 6 (nice & nasty) http://www.niceandnasty.net
*nicole otero - sunshine song (cr2)
*james brown - mama popcorn (polydor)
*curved air - midnite wire http://www.curvedair.com/
*kraftwerk - vitamin (EMI) www.kraftwerk.com
*blancmange - god's kitchen'(london) http://www.affleckonline.co.uk/blancmange/
Playlist for Springsession on 2FM.
TX:23-06-2007
22.00-00.00
*Robbie Craig and Audiofreaks - Freak [2 Step Mix] (audiofreaks) http://www.audio-freaks.com/
*Benjamin Bates - On My Feet [Benjamin's OMFG remix] (Big & Dirty)
*nicole otero - sunshine song [john julius knight redub] (cr2)
*Atari Era - Dirty Dirty Girl (white) http://www.myspace.com/mattwaterhouse
*product 01 - fix me [broken robot] (product01 records prod1204) www.product01.co.uk
*Pascal Feliz - From Inside The Speaker Part 1 (Rytmic Records)
*Sandervandoorn-by any demand [petergelderblom] (spinnin)
*Basic Bastard - Frankfurter (Big & Dirty Records)
*Activa - Flashpoint [orig] (spinnin)
*mr pit - blue velvet [orig] (drizzly adv)
*Marcel Woods - Lemon Tree (High Contrast Recordings)
*richard durand - for the believers 2.0 (terminal 4) www.terminal-4.com
*greg downey - jaws (discover dark 11)
*randy katana - session impossible (jinx jinx004)
*the viceroy - endgame (flux deluxe fdelux 101)
*andrew bennett - safe from harm (coldharbour recordings clhr030)
*cliff coenraad pres: mulika - escalate (intuition intu910)
*jay lumen pres: monologue - midnight express (whoop! wh110)
*breakfast - the sunlight (flashover flash014)
*side effect - always there (fantasy 769)
Comment